


Almost

by gardenhearted



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, F/F, F/M, Light Angst, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardenhearted/pseuds/gardenhearted
Summary: A texting conversation and unspoken feelings. Modern college AU. Some good good wlw pining.





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah yeah yeah yeah it's been approximately 100000 years since I last read AOT so I have no idea plot-wise what's going on so, yeah. But I started writing this ages ago and if anyone likes it maybe I'll continue it with some more chapters.

Ymir: hey what are you doing for thanksgiving break

Krista: staying on campus :o 

Ymir: oh that ssucks 

Ymir: I’m going home to family 

Ymir: you should ask reiner out if you need company ;)

Krista: stop!!!!!

Krista: you know I cant do that

Ymir: yes you can

Ymir: nothing is stopping you. Just do it 

Ymir: you should go after what you want

 

_ I could be what you want.  _ I pushed those words away from the back of my mind as I put my phone back in my jacket pocket. The wind was so loud outside I could hear it through the window, through the earphones blasting a shitty Spotify workout playlist into my skull. The temptation to text her again was lingering like a buzzing sensation on my fingertips--it was impossible to ignore, but not strong enough to compel me to do it.

_ Chill the fuck out, Ymir,  _ I told myself, tracing the back of my phone case in my pocket with my fingers. I followed the outline of a Hello Kitty sticker that she had slapped on the last time we ate pizza together at the dining hall, cramming for midterms during a similar fall storm. The way she cackled when she slapped the obnoxiously pink, sparkly sticker on my black skull-motif phone case--it contrasted so much with her sweet face, perfect blonde hair, perfectly primed and polished face. For someone who spent an inordinate amount of time perfecting every aspect of her appearance--makeup, simple but polished clothes, matching school supplies and unified dorm decoration--her dorky laughter was oddly out of place. It was charming. 

I felt the familiar painful surge in my chest rise up to the back of my throat as I stared out the window, tracing the sticker with my thumb. I just triple-texted her, would it look too desperate to text her one more time? Even just an emoji? I focused on the rainy parking lot outside, looking for any sign of my brother’s car pulling up to pick me up. 

_ He’s fucking late, like usual. Mom will probably be in bed by the time we get home _ . The two-hour drive back home from campus wasn’t going to be cheery in this weather. I knew my brother would be glad to see me, but I felt exhausted suddenly. The fall rain outside the gym was splattering the fallen leaves, carpeting the pavement and the sidewalks around all the buildings, and the darkness of the storm made it feel like night had already fallen at three in the afternoon. With my last midterm completed and only a report to submit tomorrow by midnight, I knew I had plenty of time to finish my assignments for Thanksgiving break before a relaxing long weekend at home. But nothing felt right. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Spending the break, alone. Her roommate gone for the break, she would probably sit at her tiny, organized desk, typing away at her laptop or writing out careful flashcards for organic chemistry. The way her delicate fingers would fiddle with a ballpoint pen as she thought. How quiet she could be, when she was alone. Krista, alone.

A memory hit me like the damp, cold autumn wind. Her long blonde hair, the way loose strands would catch the fading sunlight from the window as we sat on the floor of her dorm room, putting together poster boards for her student board meetings. Glitter glue, cardboard letters, and so much scotch tape, littered around our feet. Her hands just inches from mine, her face so intent on her perfect handwriting. The way she tilted her face up to meet my eyes, laughter in her face when I smeared glue all over my fingers.

And the way she looked ashamed when she told me she had a crush on the boy down the hall. The way she shook her head and laughed when I told her to ask him out. The way she clutched at her chest and said she’d never be good enough.  _ I’ll never be good enough _ . 

The way he laughed, walking down the dorm halls, not even knowing how lucky he was, even unknowingly, to have her attention. I wanted so desperately to be angry at him. Or jealous. But I just felt tired, and so empty.

 

Bzzzzzzzzzzt.

I yanked my phone out of my pocket. The Hello Kitty sticker was starting to peel off.

Eren: hey im here

The sudden adrenaline that had surged through my veins fizzled. I felt like throwing my phone. 

Ymir: yeah coming out now 

I walked over the gym’s doors and saw my little brother’s familiar car out front. I tossed my phone back in my jacket pocket and hoisted my duffel bag of dirty laundry over one shoulder, my backpack over the other, and threw my hood up over my head. The rain was still coming down, and I was positive Eren wasn’t going to get out of the car into the freezing rain to help me load up the car. 

Bzzzzzzzzzzzt. I ignored my phone and zipped up my jacket as I tentatively opened the doors out into the street. The rain was so intense it muffled the sound of music coming from my old Honda, idling a few meters away with Eren behind the wheel. I instantly felt the cold sweep over my face and surge through my thin jacket. Cursing my decision to wear a lighter jacket, I started splashing over to the car, careful not to step in large puddles. Bzzzzzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt. 

Reaching the car, I yanked open the trunk and tossed my bags in before slamming it and dashing to the passenger’s seat, attempting to minimize how soaked I was going to get. 

“Hey stranger,” Eren said, pretending to look nonchalant, but cracking a smile at my disheveled face. I leaned over and hugged him in the seat, noting how warm and cozy the ancient car was in comparison with the weather outside. He looked pretty good, a little tired, no doubt from the long drive. 

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt.

I ignored my phone again, telling Eren about how good his new haircut looked and giving him directions out of the campus to get back on the highway towards home. 

“How were midterms? You only have one thing left to write while you’re home right? Because I know Mom would like to see you at church and Dad has this new dresser to put together…”

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt.

Realizing my phone was still going off, I pulled it out of my pocket and casually clicked it on. 4 new messages.

  1. My password never felt longer.



Ymir: you should go after what you want

Krista: i know 

Krista: but if nothing is stopping me

Krista: then i need to tell you

Krista: ymir?

 

The warm air in the car was suddenly suffocatingly thick. 

My hands flew to the keys, but I stopped, hesitating. I didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, or what to reveal.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,” I muttered under my breath. I could see in my periphery that Eren was giving me the side eye. 

“You forget something sis? Should I pull over or…” 

“No, no,” I hissed, starting to type. “It’s fine…”

Eren pulled up at an intersection, the last before they would pull out onto the highway. He hesitated, the car idling in the turn lane.

_ I’m taking too long... I don’t want her to see that I saw this and think I don’t want to respond...or that I’m overthinking my answer...fuck…. _

“Fuck it,” I said out loud, typing out what felt natural. 

 

Ymir: what do you need to tell me? 

 

I immediately regretted the response.  _ Was that too direct? Did that sound too serious? I don’t want her to think...I don’t want her to guess… _

 

I stared at my phone, waiting. A typing emoji popped up in the chat, and I stared at it for what felt like years. 

 

Eren sat at the intersection, drumming his fingers impatiently at the steering wheel. I realized he was probably eager to get home, but he also probably didn’t want to start driving on the highway only to have to find a place to turn around. I didn’t say anything. 

“‘Ymir, seriously, if you forgot something just own it and I’ll turn around. There’s a long drive back…” he groused, his eagerness at seeing his big sis wearing off. 

I ignored him. The typing emoji had disappeared from the chat. 

Bzzzzzzzzt.

Krista: I’m going to miss you during break! 

I felt my heart begin to slow, and all the blood that must have run to my head was suddenly dissipating. I felt exhausted. Slowly, I typed out a response.

Ymir: I’ll miss you too! 

“Ymirrrrrrrrrrrr, Ymir, Ymiriririrri, Ymirrrrrrr….” Eren whined, in a sing-song voice. He had pulled out his own phone and started to scroll through his Twitter or something. 

“Hey, put that shit away, you’re behind the wheel,” I barked, locking my phone screen. 

“FINally,” he huffed, stuffing his phone into the cup holder and switching the car from park back into drive. “Some drama with the literary club? Failed a class? Upset a professor... ?”

“No, you idiot,” I sighed, leaning my head back on the headrest and closing my eyes. “If you’re not going to drive then let me get behind the wheel.”  _ I’ve barely known her for three months. I need to get my head out of my ass and back into reality _ .

“Are you sure?” Eren teased in his wheedling tone. He pulled the car onto the highway, picking up speed through the faltering autumn storm. Rain pelted the car windshield.

Bzzzzzzzzt.

I glanced down at my lockscreen. 

Krista: :) 

I sighed, frustrated at myself.  _I just need a weekend away to get my head on straight._

Ymir: :) 

I definitely didn’t feel like smiling. 

  
  
  



End file.
